First Birthday Eve

As I sit here on the night before Curran's first birthday, I can't help reflecting over the past year. One year ago, Dr. Sharon admitted me to the hospital to begin induction the next day. I went into labor around 4 am and I must admit, the first thing I did was ask the nurse to call the anesthesiologist! I have to admit, now, that I wish I had tried to stay calm and breathe through it. I suppose the issue was that I was asleep and the labor pains woke me up with a vengeance and were coming very quickly. I didn't have time to ease into it or get used to it. It was just there. And after 10 hours or so, it was time to push. That, of course, was when the real trouble began, but I'll spare you. Curran was born at 5:05pm and was amazing from the start. It was apparent that he had fought a brave fight to get here as evidenced by the bruises all over him. But he was calm and sweet and looking in our eyes from the start.

I remember those first few months when he would wake up about 2 or 3am. I would hold him and feed him thinking that we were the only ones awake at that time. It felt so personal and private and safe. The world is different at that time. It's quiet and dark and calm. Even the birds are asleep. Only the moon, my baby boy, and me.

I've watched him grow from a kicky-pants baby to a kicky-pants almost toddler and have been amazed by every moment. I love to show him something and then sit back and watch him figure it out. I love his laugh when I'm being silly; he gets me and not many people do. I love to make up crazy songs that only he and I know and watch him begin to dance at the first note.

The latest thing for him to start doing is hugging me tight and sharing his snacks with me. I'm happy to say that he is a sweet-natured boy and is loved by everyone who sees him. I am looking forward to this next year of discovery with Curran, both for him and for me. Never has a mother loved a son more than this one.